Modern Day Warrior

I recently started Tom Sawyer. By recently I mean 2 hours ago. I wanted to start Huck Finn, but we don’t own it. After researching a bit more I discovered that Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer were in a series together and TS is first in line. I was surprised to find that I could not put the book down!  Even though there are no major in you face extravagant events the book just kept getting better. I feel like I am just strolling around St. Petersburg with Tom. In the first 9 chapters there’s something every person can relate to. I feel like that is what Twain uses to hook the reader from the beginning!

What are some of your Tom Sawyer experiences?
What have you really connected to?
Why did you start the book? Finish? Stop in the middle and never read it again?

A Monster Named Dread

Dread My Monster likes hears the sound of fingers typing and cars crashing.

Dread My Monster likes smells fire and gasoline.

Dread My Monster likes sees hysteria and blood.

Dread My Monster likes touches the cold body and ripped shirt.

Dread My Monster likes tastes blood and tears.

Dread is a vagabond cloaked in despair.

Blooming at 17

At only 17 I’m starting to apply for loans. And not school loans.

My dad proposed a project to me one Saturday about raising rose bushes in a high tunnel. We have two high tunnels already and have had rose bushes before, but never together. This was very exciting to me! I get to have my own business and it’s in a field I love! I’ve worked at a floral shop before so flowers, especially roses aren’t anything new. What will be new is getting to hand select the colors and varieties I want!

The following Monday we walk into the USDA Office and ask for the paperwork for a youth loan of $5,000. Unfortunately, that won’t cover all the $10,000 prospective costs. At first the agents were skeptical, but after my Dad explained our plan they were ready to help. I guess it helps a bit that the agents knew my dad by name. Must be a place he frequents. We then left to scope out a recommendation letter to go with the loan. We went to the County Extension Office and talked to the Horticultural Agent, Bernie. He was happy to write the letter and had it done within the next 2 days!

I hope everything goes to according to plan. I am really looking forward to having my own business and starting off 2016 with a big goal!


More Than A Man

If I should give an award to anyone for kindness, understanding, and perseverance…It would most definitely be my Love, Jacob.

I have busy weekends, a crazy family, school work, and everything inbetween. With all of the going from here to there, something is going to go wrong. In my life it never fails. Yet, one thing that remains constant is the support and dependability of Jacob.

He was built with strength. He was molded with kindness. He was born with talent. He was branded with Christ. He was marked with imperfections. Yet, He is drawn out perfect. He was cut from special cloth to be sewn into my quilt. He is Jacob. 

My life before I met him was not good. I was far from Christ and was not surrounding myself with the right people. My mom took me out to dinner one night to Catfish Hole and asked me to think of all the attributes I would want in a husband/boyfriend. So I did.

Here’s a rough look at what it was comprised of: Brown hair, green eyes, musically inclined, liked the same things as me, was nice… things a young teenage girl would want.

One thing she pointed out was I didn’t mention anything about Sprituallity. That really got me thinking and revamping the way I viewed guys. But it only lasted a little bit. I still was far from God even though she had me thinking.

The next school year I met him. I met the one. The last chair, last band, never won anything band related in her life, little sophomore clarinet, crushing on the cute senior 1st chair, 1st band, All-State 3 years, All-Region 3 years, Avion Award recipient, tuba player, Jacob Copps.

Tell me I’m dumb for “falling in love”, I won’t listen to you. It wasn’t  a lust thing. I knew it was for real, because months prior I had been fed up with how I was living and began to pray. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted or how to ask for it God, so I just layed it out- follows Christ, good person in general, will love my family, (and this one is kinda silly but hey it’s a girl thing) a high school sweetheart.

It was November when we first actually talked to each other, other than band room sightings. He came to my band party at my house, I remember I was slightly anannoyed, because my DJ was playing music and he was blasting music from his truck simultaneously. But he was cute and I didn’t want to tell him to turn it down. After the party we all went to Braum’s for ice cream. I rode with him. I remember the night quite clearly, I was in the back, he had subs and bass under the seat, and he had a glowing radio.

After that night we started talking more and began to hang out more. We found out we had some of the same friends. Sometimes I would ask him to take me to my mom’s work after school just to spend some one-on-one time with him. Flash forward to March of 2014. We are now considered best friends and the whole 250 person band is “shipping” us. On the 17th we decided that we liked each other and we should give dating a try. Here’s what happened the next day.

1. The whole band knew.

2. We had to tell the girl he was going to go to Prom with he was no longer going with her.

3. Everyone kept telling me they had been waiting for months for this to happen. I kid you not one girl said to me, “We all had been sittin’ around basically watching you two like a TV show that you just can’t stop watching.”

It didn’t take me long to realize that what I had been praying for was right in front of me all along. Prayer has power and it works. For a month after I thanked God every night for sending someone to save me.

Flash forward to March 2015. It’s been a year. An eventful year, the “honeymoon year”. Getting to know each other’s simple characteristics and starting new things together like him taking me to a church I fell in love with.

2015 was different for us we learned a lot more about each other emotionally, mentally, physically  (mom, if you read this don’t freak out. I mean medically and it sounds better after mentally), and Sprituallity. It was definitely not the honeymoon phase anymore. We argued a lot more, but once bedtime rolled around we never once didn’t say I love you.

It’s 2016 now, 1 day before our “1 year and 10 month anniversary”. Honestly, we never keep up with months and days anyway. I’m excited to see what this year holds in store for us and what God’s plan is for us. 2 months, 1 day til 2 years. Our relationship will shift someway and I know because of he and I’s commitment that we can work it out whatever it may be.

(I’m really sorry this is really long, it’s.                   about over I promise)

Jacob has helped:

Make me a better person, made me feel as high as the clouds about my talents, make me a better follower of God, me feel beautiful when I felt so ugly, me feel worth something more than just a body in the world, me feel more confident in certain areas of my life, me when I was struggling financially even though he didn’t have to.

There’s a lot more I could list, but it’s getting late and I have a crafting workshop in the morning.

Overall I’m grateful for him. He does everything out of love, not to get some kind of personal gain.

This is for you my dear, with All of my Love, and it’s a Whole Lotta Love,


The Giving Year

Give: to present voluntarily, and without expecting compensation

 I’m sure you have read the children’s book The Giving Tree. The boy recieves something from the tree until she thinks she has nothing left to give, but in the end the once young boy finds all he needs is a place to rest. The tree, a stump, has one last gift for the man. 

“And the tree is happy.”

Much like The Giving Tree herself, I would like to give until I see there is nothing left to give.

In 2016 I would like to focus on giving to those who gave to me, to those who helped me, to those in need, and to those who are not like me.

While starting my other goal for 2016, read the Bible in a year, I came across Matthew 6: 1-4. This was a snippet of the January 4th reading from the New Testament. For some reason I didn’t get to this until the 5th, the day we were given the assignment roughly titled “Chose a word to focus on this year”. I wrote out to the side of the paragraph, “Use for APLAC. Remember your word GIVE.”


The first verse was this: “1 Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in Heaven” 

If I would like to effectively give to others I must not give for the title of Giver. I must do it from my heart and expect no reward as stated in the definition of “give”. Keywords “without expecting compensation”. 


The second verse: “2 Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truely, I say to you, they have recieved their reward.” 

This verse will help me remember why I chose this word and see to it that I know the true purpose of giving. I want to give to enrich others, not myself. Those who brag on their good deeds most likely want the satisfaction of telling others what they did. That is their reward. 


The third and fourth verses: “3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your givimg may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” 

To clean up the verse a bit, the term “right hand” is most likely a reference to righteousness and being holy, while the “left hand” is usually (as thought by the Hebrews) associated with selfish and petty nature. The verse, through use of hyperbole in context with the rest of the four verses, says to keep your giving secret and known to you and God. You’re not giving to be praised by men.

This chapter will guide me throughout the year and keep me focused on my purpose, To enrich the lives of others through Jesus Christ.

Key points:

1. Do it from your heart 

2. Do not expect something in return

3. Do not boast 

4. Do it for the glory of God so that other’s might see Christ in YOU. 







To Tell A Woman…

“To tell a woman what she can’t do is to tell her everything she can do”

Society’s Female “Do’s”:

1. Cook

2. Clean

3. Be Sexy & Attractive

4. Be the Perfect Woman

5. Be the Perfect Everything

6. Cover Up Your Body

7. Be Ashamed of Your Body, Looks, Even Your Reproductive System for God’s Sake…

Society’s Female “Don’ts”:

1. Heavy lifting

2. Provocative Clothing

3. Do the Same Things That Men Do

4. Have A Say About Your Body

5. Be So “Emotional”

6. Be Mean/Rude Because It’s Not Lady-Like

7. Be ​Yourself

I will say I love to cook, be attractive, cover up, but on ​my own​accord not when society tells me to. I didn’t really take to the Feminist movement until I started researching more about it. It was that kind of revelation that a LGBTQ person might feel, knowing you are something different but not having a clue as to what you are. For months I listened to a good friend go on and on about Feminism and the issues of today’s women. I was captivated. So I commenced my study of this new idea. Days, Weeks, Months, and I finally began to embrace my secret.

I am a feminist.

I wasn’t sure how I could ​not ​see it. I mean every time one of the guys asked me if I needed help loading some piece of equipment on the truck I simply replied, “No thanks, I got it.” My position on loading crew last year was Mom. But I didn’t mind, I loved the guys I worked with, and I have natural motherly qualities as i’ve been told. Boy did they get a wake up call when I was made their captain this year. My role changed from “Mom” to probably Hitler, an evil dictator, or maybe even bitch. I know why though they aren’t used to having a woman tell them what to do.

At first I was reserved with my “power” not really telling them what to do and being strict. Sometimes they walked all over me. As the weeks progressed I gained confidence in my team and myself. Soon they began respecting me as “captain”.

I love cooking…but I don’t approve of “a woman’s place is in the kitchen.” The fact a single person can create cakes, 5- star meals, decadent candies amazes me. Men AND women create these concoctions. Most of the chefs on Food Network are men! Now i’ll get a little more personal about my position of cooking. My dad is a baby bird. He was babied all his life by his mother, he was her and my grandfather’s only full blood child. The rest were half brothers and sisters. My mom always cooks, dad rarely cooks. For the longest time he would always rely on her to fix supper. So when my mom asked if I could fix my dad something to eat one day I was like “What? Why? Isn’t perfectly capable of doing that himself?! He has been in bed all day! A grown man he is!” I normally wouldn’t have a problem with this if he had been working all day was exhausted, but he had just gotten up out of bed. So, ever since then whenever he calls my mom and says “ Whatcha bringin’ home?” or “Could you fix me something?” I walk around saying “peep, peep” implying he is a baby bird and cannot fend for himself.

These instances may not seem very big, but when you have been underestimated your entire life.

They make you feel as big as the world.

All my life I was one to prove people wrong, my catch phrase for life would probably be “ watch me” and no..not watch me whip and nae nae. Watch me prove you wrong because I am a girl and I can be dainty and a flower, but today sir I am not, I am your equal. It always infuriated me when teachers asked for “strong boys” to help carry books or do whatever laborious task. Ever since I had my revelation I stood up, of course I was told to sit back down because they said strong ​boys ​and not strong ​girls​.

What did I do?

I absolutely ignored them.

I found ​“To tell a woman what she can’t do is to tell her everything she can do” ​while browsing google images one night. I kind of scrolled past after I read the picture, but it embedded itself into my brain. I went back to find and wrote it down. After giving it a little thought and seeing how I could apply this to my life. I knew that this would be one of my favorite quotes. I felt like it embodied my philosophy about female empowerment and breaking the status quo.

So to all those people who say ​no ​because i’m “a girl” or “weak” or “not pretty enough” or “enough” in general. Two words to grace your ears.

watch me.